A clash of worlds
by Jacinta Kenobi
Summary: Legolas, Merry, Pippin, Frodo, and Sam are brought into a 17 year old girls bedroom, and chaos ensues. Can she get them back to their world? Will they listen to her warnings about Earth? Will getting what she's always wanted make her happy?
1. Default Chapter

Ok, I am finally giving in to the urge and writing a crossover between my universe and LotR. This hopefully will be humor, kinda like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, what with setting loose someone from a different world. :D There might be some serious parts though. Since I, personally, am in love with three LotR characters that are going to visit me, I am going to try and show a different side of the story of a fan learning that they are still people with their quirks and looking beyond face level to find out what she really likes, and, surprisingly, what she DOESN'T like. May even have a twist, if I go that way. It will not be a Mary-Sue though, so don't worry. I'm not going to convince Leggy I'm what he's always wanted in the first chap or anything. :p  
  
Onward and upward! Read on, and I hope you enjoy.  
  
*****  
  
I happily kissed the two Lord of the Rings stand-ups I had just bought at a yard sale as I loaded them into the car. My mother rolled her eyes at me. "Sunny, you'd better not do that in front of your father." She said as she climbed into the car. "He'd throw them away and say you were obsessed."  
  
I laughed and got into the passenger's seat. "I AM obsessed, what's his point?" I asked as I buckled up. My mom just rolled her eyes at me and started the car.  
  
I leaned back with a sigh, envisioning exactly where I would put my hobbits and elf. The girl that had sold them to me had been seemingly eager to get rid of them, eyeing them warily as she received the relatively small amount of money she had asked for the practically new stand-ups. She had even offered to help me load them up, ushering me to the car as fast as she could and seeming to breathe a sigh of relief as we drove away. There was something weird about how much she had wanted me to take them, something not right...Oh well, I wouldn't think about it. It didn't matter why she didn't want them, I had them now.  
  
*****  
  
I set down Legolas as I finished setting him up and stood back, eyeing him and the four hobbits, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin. I grinned and brushed off my hands. "Perfect." I muttered, collapsing on my bed and picking up my copy of The Two Towers to read, flipping open to where my marker was and quickly beginning to read where I had left off.   
  
Time seemed to fly as I read, sucking in every word, until there was knock on my door. "Lights out!" My mother called, and I cursed silently. "Darn." I muttered, placing my marker back inside the book and carefully setting it on my nightstand. I was about to turn out my light, when my eyes fell on the stand-ups that now graced my room. I sighed and blew them a kiss. "Night Las, night Frodo, night Sammy, night Merdoc, night Pipsers." I said. There was no response, of course, but they were so life-like that I could feel my body sagging slightly in disappointment. "Too bad you're not real..." I whispered, but quickly brushed that thought away with a laugh, turning off my light. "Sunny, all that fan fic writing is starting to rub off." I said quietly, and drifted off into sleep.  
  
*****  
  
Quiet voices were the first thing I was aware of. "Who's there?!!....Ouch!! Get'er off, Pip! You're squashing me!!!.....Hey...what?...OW! MERRY!....GET OFF HIM!! Are you all right, Mr. Frodo?" Several male voices intermingled together brought me to the waking world.  
  
Slowly, I pushed my eyes open sleepily and glanced at my clock. 3:52 a.m. Great. My room was pitch dark except for the tiny light from my clock, which illuminated nothing. For a moment, I thought perhaps I had been dreaming, but the voices came again.  
  
"Where are we?" "I'm not sure. I do know we're not in Moria, though." "Our packs are gone!" "Don't worry about it, Sam." "Ow! I keep tripping! Where ARE we?!" I could have sworn I knew those voices, and groggily, I reached for my light switch and flipped it on. Immediately, four cries of surprise were heard, and my own quickly followed as I glanced around my room.  
  
My stand-ups were gone, and in their place were five real, flesh and blood Lord of the Rings characters!!! I screamed and sat up in bed, backing up quickly. What in the heck?!!  
  
Legolas looked to me quickly as I screamed, as he had been taking in his surroundings. "It's all right, miss. We mean you no harm. We arrived here purely by accident, I can assure you." He said, his bow held loosely in his hand so as not to scare me, but to be prepared for whatever foe he might encounter.  
  
"We don't even know where 'here' is!!" Cried Pippin, looking back and forth between me and the elf standing in my room.  
  
My breath seemed to have stopped, and I struggled to regain it. "I..." Slowly I stood up, pulling my nightshirt down over my sweatpants from where it had bunched up as I had moved quickly. "I'm sorry, I was just startled. My name is Sunny." I said quickly. Should I tell them that I knew who they were? They would find out sooner or later. "And you are Legolas Greenleaf." I said, nodding to Legolas.  
  
He stiffened. "How did you know that?" He asked suspiciously.  
  
It might not have been the best choice I could have made, but I grinned widely. "Oh, I know much more than that. I know that your father is King Thranduil, which would make you the Prince of Mirkwood, and nearly 4000 years old." I said. Before he could reply, I turned to the hobbits. "And you, Peregrin Took. You are the youngest of the Fellowship, and the future Steward of the Shire." I had to hold down laughter at his expression, and looked to Merry. "Meriadoc Brandybuck. You are Pippin's cousin, and his match in mischievousness, or so I have heard." I didn't wait for a response, looking to Sam. "Ah, Frodo's beloved friend and gardener, Samwise Gamgee. I am pleased to meet you face to face."   
  
Lastly, I looked to Frodo, and straightened the grin off my face. "Frodo Baggins. You are the ringbearer, and the most important member of the fellowship, for much relies on you, does it not? All because of a little ring your Uncle gave you when he left the Shire for Rivendell. Who knew all this could come about from something so small, found in the hands of a crazed creature?" Frodo's expression became worried, and he studied me.  
  
I never got to say anymore, as I suddenly realized that an arrow was aimed for my heart. "How did you come to know so much? Have you kidnapped us? What do you want?" Legolas demanded, face stern.  
  
//Oops.// I thought. I had pressed my luck. "I read it." I stated simply, making no quick movements. It would not be good if my mom found me dead by a weapon not employed for centuries.  
  
"Read it?" Frodo questioned. Sam's gaze was suspicious, and he moved closer to his master.  
  
"Yes." I said, and pointed slowly to the book on my nightstand. "In there."  
  
Pippin dashed over and picked up the book, scampering back to the other hobbits. Frodo took it quickly, scanning through. His expression of worry intensified. "We're all here, but...none of this is true." He said.  
  
I nodded. "I know it seems strange, but it is true. It just hasn't happened to you yet...I don't think." It occurred to me that I did not know for sure where in the story they had come from. Then I remembered one of the voices mentioning Moria. "Yes, it hasn't happened." I repeated.  
  
Legolas frowned heavily. "What do you mean by that?" He demanded.  
  
I sighed. "It's a long story. Would you mind pointing that thing somewhere else? I mean, what am I REALLY going to do to you, Legolas? One girl?" I pointed out with a shrug.  
  
Legolas slowly lowered his bow slightly, but did not let the arrow in his hold relax. "I take nothing at face value." He said simply.  
  
"I see." I replied. "Smart way to live in your world." I winked, and he frowned at me. I sat down on the bed and let a hand go through my hair. "Ok, here's the deal. You are in either another universe, or the future. I don't know which."   
  
The hobbits' jaws dropped at that, but Legolas showed no reaction. "What makes you say that?" He asked.  
  
"Well, as far as anyone knows around here, you and the hobbits are only myth. You came from a story by a man named J. R. R. Tolkien. He described a world called Middle-Earth, in which the fellowship set out on a perilous journey to destroy the one ring. From the description, it sounds as if perhaps you are now in the future, in a time in which the only sentient species left on earth is humans." I said simply.  
  
Legolas' bowstring fell into its natural form as his grip on it relaxed. He seemed about to say something, when our attention was caught by the hobbits.   
  
"Oy! Merry, let me see that!" Pippin was saying, struggling to wrestle my copy of TTT away from his older cousin. Merry was paying him no mind, glancing through the book.  
  
Suddenly, he laughed. "Now I know she isn't telling the truth. This book says me and Pip get stuck with a bunch of giant trees that move and talk." He grinned up at Legolas, just as Pippin tackled him.   
  
"Let me see it!" The youngest hobbit cried. Merry just laughed harder and held the book out of reach. I snatched it from them both, and cries of despair rang through the room as they looked up to me.  
  
"It's all quite true, Meriadoc." I said simply, placing the book in the box with the other three, and setting that on a shelf way out of a hobbit's reach, but not an elf. On the other hand, I wasn't worried about Legolas going nuts over reading it.  
  
"Then how do we end up there?" Pip asked, standing quickly. "Let me see the book, I want to know how we end up with trees!" He dashed to my side, eyeing the books hungrily and looking to me in a pleading way.  
  
I shook my head firmly. "One should never know too much about their future, and I shudder to think what would happen if you changed what is meant to happen just because it doesn't suit you. All of Middle-Earth might be destroyed." I shut my mouth after that, not wanting to give anything away. I suddenly felt like the Doc from Back to the Future, telling Pippin that line about not knowing too much about your own future. I struggled not to laugh, as they would think I was laughing at Middle-Earth's destruction. That would not provoke a good response.  
  
Legolas seemed to agree with this, but didn't look as though he believed me quite yet. I decided I would have to prove it to them. "Come on, I'll show you." I looked out into the hall, making sure no one was up, then gestured for them to follow me, putting a finger to my lips to show that I needed silence. I led them through the house, grabbing a flashlight, ignoring the hobbits' surprised looks. I reached the front door and unlocked it, flipping on our porch light before I opened the door. "Take a look and then tell me you still think you're in Middle-Earth." I said with a grin I couldn't contain, though I knew it was mean.  
  
The five characters stepped outside into the warm summer night, eyes wide as they looked out into my neighborhood. A car went past, and Pippin gave a yelp, darting back in the house. The other hobbits jumped in the air. Legolas' intake of breathe was the only sign that he was surprised.  
  
Quickly, I gestured them back in, lest my neighbors should see and think I was harboring escapees from an Insane asylum. I had to admit, this didn't look good; me, standing in only a Tweety-bird nightshirt and sweat pants, surrounded by four midget men, all wearing no shoes on their hairy feet, and a very tall men with pointed ears and a bow. Definitely not good.  
  
Pippin was visibly upset by what he had seen. The other three hobbits were grouped around him as he spoke loudly, trying to quiet him. Only Legolas seemed calm, but that wasn't unusual, come to think of it.  
  
"None of this would have ever happened if we hadn't left the Shire!" Pippin was exclaiming to his fellow hobbits.   
  
Merry took this in, listening to his cousin but not nodding or shaking his head. "Maybe...maybe not, Pip. Either way, it's too late to do anything now, so calm down." He said nicely, but firmly.  
  
I noticed that Frodo was eyeing Legolas rather than paying attention to his cousins. Legolas seemed to know that the ring-bearer was watching him, but he did not react. Instead, he, in turn, was watching me. I felt the weight of his gaze keenly and fidgeted a bit. Finally, he spoke. "So you are saying we are where?" He asked.  
  
"Earth." I said. "To be more specific, North America, the United States, the state of Idaho, and the city of Boise." I paused, but hardly long enough for anyone to do or say anything, as I have a tendency to talk way too fast when I'm excited...or when I'm not, for that matter. "Today is July 23rd, 2003." I supplied.  
  
All of the Lord of the Rings characters were now staring at me openly. It was obvious I had just confused them a lot more. I sighed, but said nothing more.  
  
Merry finally broke the silence. "Well, do you have food in this world?" He asked blatantly, and I couldn't help but laugh hysterically when I saw the look on Legolas' face.  
  
*****  
  
Well? Please review, I am desperate to know what people think of this story and whether I should bother continuing it!  
  
Man, I GOT to stop starting stories….in a few days. I have another one to start in the knew Pirates of the Caribbean spot. *grins* And then one for Star Wars, which I have been neglecting…And then another in LotR…and then…*trails off*  
  
……I'm in deep poopy-doo, people. I'm never gonna finish anything!! No, I take that back, I'm almost done with Lost in Rivendell, so that one might get lucky…oh goodness, someone beat some sense in my head and tell it to start coming up with ORIGINAL stories. *shakes head* Reviews please? 


	2. Finding a hiding place

Hi! Sorry for the long wait, and for those who want a post on Lost in Rivendell, you'll get one soon, I promise. The next post is important, so I am afraid of screwing it up. It will be up soon, I promise. This story was easier and so was a good break.   
  
For anyone else, please enjoy and tell me what you think!!  
  
Lolly: You're right!!! Geez, I feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO stupid!!!!!!! Well, I fixed it and thanks for pointing that out. I can't believe I did that I was trying to finish the post fast before I went to school, I'm sorry!!  
  
*****  
  
Sam was staring at the food suspiciously as I set it down. He nudged Frodo gently as Frodo reached for it. "Mr. Frodo...maybe you oughtn't eat it...it don't look right healthy to me." He whispered nervously.  
  
Frodo seemed about to say something, when I laughed. "I assure you, Sam, there is nothing wrong with my cooking. It's too overdone to have anything in there to hurt you, I promise!"  
  
That earned me a smile from Merry and Pippin as they served the food, seeing the truth to my words. They didn't care too much; food was food to healthy-eating hobbits. I guessed Sam probably wouldn't have cared either if it weren't for the fact that he worried for Frodo so.  
  
I had given them cereal, watermelon, bacon, eggs, toast, and pancakes. All except the cereal and fruit, which even I couldn't ruin, were just overdone enough to be suspicious, so I could understand Sam's reaction. Usually I would have cooked a lot less, but I had decided that cooking for five men required more than usual, to say the least.  
  
Pippin was eating a few pieces of cereal from the box and made a face. "Might as well be with orcs, as bad as this is!" He whispered to Merry, pointing to the box of cereal.  
  
I had to laugh. "You're eating it wrong, dearest Pip." I said, and walked over, picking up a bowl and pouring the cereal, adding the sugar, and then adding milk.  
  
Immediately the rice crispies did what they do best, going snap crackle and pop, and Pip jumped two feet in the air when I tried to set it down in front of him.  
  
Legolas stood as well after looking over to see what the commotion was about, eying his new found foe with distrust as he laid a hand on the handles of one of his twin blades. "What sort of devilry is this, human?" He demanded with a glare in my direction from the corner of his eye.  
  
I glared right back. "It's called cereal, and it's not a devilry, it's a favorite of children. Furthermore, my name is not human, it's Sunny Brooke, or Nóruinen Sáralondë in elvish, if you prefer, Legolas." I smiled at the hobbits. "Or Iris Burrows if it makes you hobbits feel more at home to call me so." I continued.  
  
Pippin grinned, but Legolas frowned. "How came you by an elvish name?" He inquired.  
  
I returned his gaze calmly. "That is not your business, master elf." I said clearly, in reality not wanting to have to explain the internet to them, since I had got them from translating sites.  
  
Legolas' frown became deeper. "I shall call you by your human name, as I am not sure you are worthy of an elven one." He said, and looked at me as if daring me to defy him.  
  
I couldn't help becoming angry at this. "You showed up in my home and I have allowed you to stay and fed you! What else do you want?!!" //Geez, Las was NEVER this bad in the books!// I thought to myself.  
  
Pippin looked between us, and finally broke in in that cheery voice of his. "Well I'm going to call you Iris because I like it, and I like you." He declared, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
I had to smile back. "Thank you Pip." I said. There was a long, uncomfortable silence, and finally I looked down to the cereal. "Is anyone going to eat that?" I asked. All the hobbits looked at it warily and inched away, and I sighed. "Fine." I said, lifting the bowl and spooning some in my mouth. I heard a few faint gasps, and looked down to see the hobbits watching me as though I would keel over, and suddenly began laughing, spewing cereal without meaning to. All of my guests ducked, and I sheepishly wiped my mouth, setting the bowl down. "Sorry?"  
  
*****  
  
I looked around my room and began shoving. Small assortments of objects and heaps of clothes had to be moved to make room for my five guests. After all, even a queen bed could hardly hold 6 people. With the hobbits help, I began laying out blankets on the semi-clean floor, and making beds…sort of. My guests didn't seem to mind though. After all, they'd been sleeping in Moria!!!  
  
I handed the middle earthlings pillows. "I'm going to sleep on the floor, and I think that if you want, you four hobbits could probably fit just fine in my bed." I smiled, and began to lay down on the floor, pulling a blanket to my chin.  
  
The hobbits looked at each other in confusion. "But…" Pip began, "It's your bed!"   
  
I laughed. "I'll be fine on the floor, don't worry."  
  
Pippin shuffled his feet. "Couldn't we share the bed?" He asked without thinking.  
  
"Pippin!" Frodo declared, and the youngest hobbit turned around to see the disapproving looks he was getting from the other three. He blushed.  
  
I stood and went over to the now embarrassed hobbit. "Thank you Pip, that's very nice of you, but I will be fine on the floor, I promise. You just enjoy the bed and get a good night's sleep, ok?" I said, and Pippin nodded with a hesitant smile.  
  
I settled down and was quickly asleep, despite all the noise. I had been to bed way too late the night before, as it was, and what with my work and school schedule, I was drained. Just as I was falling asleep, it struck me that I had no idea what to do with my guests when I had to leave. That thought lasted only a second, however, before I was fast asleep.  
  
*****  
  
A banging on my door awoke me. As I groggily rubbed my eyes, I saw the hobbits looking nervous on my bed, and Legolas standing with his bow all ready to go. I sighed, and stood quickly.   
  
"It's all right, it's my father. Keep it down, if he hears you, I'll be in deep poodoo." I whispered, and walked over to the door, yawning. I opened it a crack. "Yeah?"  
  
"Sunny, you have five minutes to be in your car going to school or your going to be late!" My father said.  
  
I gasped. "Oh great…Um…all right, thanks!!" I shut my door in his face, turning to see the five LotR characters that had invaded my reality staring at me expectantly. I ran my hands through my hair. //Oh geez, what do I do with them?// I thought, restraining the urge to bite my nails. May's house! I had a key, and she wouldn't be home till 6, after work!  
  
"Um, ok, I'm going to drop you off at a friend's while I'm at school…" Then I remembered. I had to work after school till 12 p.m.! May would freak if she found these guys in her home! And they couldn't very well stay here, it's not like my mother wouldn't notice! All right, who else did I know? Ann! She is home schooled!  
  
Quickly, I ran for my dresser. "Get ready to go." I said. The boys looked around, but obediently started gathering jackets and other items. Then I faced another problem. If I left my room to dress, my parents would know something was up! "Um…I have to change, so I need you all to turn around." I informed my guests. They looked confused, then their faces cleared and they turned…very quickly. A little too quickly and eagerly. /Either they are complete gentleman,/ I thought, which might be true, /or they are just deeply disturbed by a stranger starting to strip. Guess I can't blame 'em./  
  
Five minutes later, I was ready to go, my short hair partially pulled up, wearing a t-shirt and jeans and carrying my bundled works clothes under one arm and my Invader Zim school bag over the other. "Ok, here's the deal." I said, striding past my guests over to my window, and opening it. "I need you guys to climb out the window and wait there for me, all right? My parents can't see you."  
  
"Why?" Pippin asked, and I could see the hobbits and elf all waiting for an answer, all wondering the same thing. I sighed.  
  
"Because you don't exist in this world, remember?" I received five blank looks in reply. I was rapidly becoming irritated. "Look, I'll explain more when we're in my car. Can you do this for me PLEASE?" I half-begged.  
  
The hobbits and Legolas all grumbled but obeyed. Once they were out of the window, I quickly bounded to my door and opened it. "See you tonight! Bye mom, bye dad!" I called, and went outside, quickly going around the house to find my guests. "All right, come on." I said, and led them to my car, opening the door and shoving stuff out of the way. "Hobbits in the back, elf in the front." I said quickly and got in the driver's seat, starting the car.  
  
*****  
  
20 minutes later, after having a great deal of trouble with Legolas exploring my radio and air conditioner controls and Pippin digging through my stuff in the back and trying to explain a seatbelt, I pulled in front of Ann's house. "You five stay here, I will be right back, and Legolas, I swear to god, you turn the radio to one more pop station and I'll break your bow."   
  
Legolas looked up. "I would not recommend your doing that. My bow was given to me by my father and has been in our family for generations, much longer than a mortal can comprehend. It was originally given as a gift to my...…"   
  
"Ya, ya." I muttered, a bit irritated, and shut the door before Legolas could finish, jogging to Ann's door and pounding on it. "Ann, hurry up!" I called into the closed door. A moment later, Ann appeared at the door, her hair mussed and rubbing her eyes. "Hi." I said as cheerily as I could manage.  
  
Ann just stared at me a moment. "You did not come at this hour of the morning to say hi." She said a bit irritably.  
  
"Actually, no." I mumbled. "Promise you won't freak out?" I asked. Ann yawned and nodded. "No, promise!!" I insisted.   
  
Ann raised an eyebrow. "Ok…I promise…what's going on?"  
  
I sighed and turned towards my car, gesturing. My guests reluctantly started to get out of the car, Legolas turning the radio one more time and Pippin grabbing something from the back seat. Frodo was the first on to arrive beside me with Sam right behind. "Hello." He said quietly.  
  
Ann's mouth hung open as she stared at Frodo. A long moment went by as we waited for her to say something. Ann's mouth opened and closed a couple times before her eyes fluttered up into her head and she fell backwards. I looked down to Frodo, surprised. "You killed her!" I exclaimed.  
  
*****  
  
Yes, I stole that line from Jumanji, but I have ALWAYS wanted to use it!!!  
  
Well? What think ye? Let me know please!!! 


	3. Introducing Elves and Hobbits

Post anyone? BTW, the references where I know what Leggy is talking about, it's from Lost In Rivendell. Also, my friend Annie and Frodo...well, I asked her, and this is what she really said she would do, so... *shrugs*  
  
*****  
  
Quickly, I usher my five guests into the house as quietly as possible, and we carry Annie back into her bedroom. After a few moments, I succeed in reviving her. Annie moans, and touches her head, blinking up at me.  
  
"Annie, please pull yourself together. I need your help!" I say irritably, glancing at my watch and noticing I am late.   
  
Annie is suddenly very awake. "You mean I didn't dream it?!! You did bring Frodo Baggins to my house! What…how…" She begins, but I cut her off.  
  
"Annie, believe me, if I knew, I would tell you. I have to go to school and work, so I need you to look after them for today. Please, don't scare Frodo too much. I think you'd kill him from shock if you came on too him too many times. After all, in the last 24 hours he's been taken from his world into this one and I think being hit on by a girl two feet taller than him wouldn't help. Sam would kill you anyway. And watch these guys, they're a handful, I can tell already." I pause for a moment and then begin ticking things off my fingers. "Keep Legolas away from radios. Keep Pippin away from sugar. Keep Sam away from your yard, that state of it would give him a heart attack! Keep Merry away from…well, actually, I don't know what to keep him away from yet, but he's been acting very mischievous, so keep an eye on him. Keep Frodo away from…well, I hate to say this, but on second thought, keep him away from you!" Annie gives me a hurt look, but I know her too well.  
  
I stand up quickly, and head for the door, but not before grabbing Legolas' arm and pulling him aside. "I'm not kidding, keep her away from Frodo…Never leave Frodo alone, as a matter of fact." Legolas looks confused but nods. "Good." I sigh. "Please, behave yourself and keep an eye on the hobbits." With that, I am out the door, already knowing that I am incredibly late.  
  
*****  
  
Hours and hours later, I drag myself wearily out of my car. It is 12:30 in the morning, and I have finally gotten off work. I want nothing more than to go to bed, but I somehow make it to Annie's doorstep and knock quietly.  
  
To my surprise, Merry answers. He gives me a huge grin and lets me in. "Where is everyone?" I ask softly.  
  
Merry seems to think a moment, glancing around. "Well…I think Sam is watching the TV, I think it is?" I nod quickly, already worried about what Sam is watching. "Pippin is in the kitchen." //Of course.// I think. "I'm not sure where Legolas is, and Frodo is…I think he's with your friend."   
  
I immediately grab the small hobbit by the shoulders and shake him. "You mean his alone with her?!!" I demand. Merry gives me a hesitant nod, not sure what's wrong with that. "Crap!" I cry and run into the bedroom.  
  
Annie looks up as I burst in the door, and so does Frodo. Annie grins impishly, and it is then that I see there is just a slight bit of the lipgloss Annie wears on Frodo's lips. The hobbit in question looks at me gratefully, his eyes huge. I give Annie a glare. "Frodo, go to the car, now." I order, and he moves quickly to obey, obviously glad to be leaving.   
  
"Annie Sanchez!" I cry the minute he is out the door. "How could you?"   
  
Annie gives me yet another hurt look. "What?!!" She pauses, the looks away slightly. "He's so sweet." She gives me a small smile, her eyes slightly starry, and her expression seems to say I should understand that she couldn't resist.   
  
I give Annie an incredulous look. "Sweet?!! Sweet?!!! Have you forgotten what Frodo does?!" Annie and I are always at odds because I love Sam. I hold up my right hand and wave the index finger suggestively. "Just remember, in the very end, if it weren't for Gollum, Frodo could have been the next Sauron, or close to it." Annie glares at me, not believing a word, but I storm out of the room…and almost into Merry and Frodo.  
  
"I could have been what?" Frodo asks quietly, horror etched on his face, his hand resting on his chest. Merry is staring at me silently.  
  
Immediately, I am terrified. How could I have let that slip? "It was a figure of speech. Don't worry, Frodo, all will be well in the end." Frodo gives me a look that clearly says he does not believe me, and I sigh. "You could never be like Sauron, you have too good a heart…I was just trying to discourage Annie, that's all." I am lying through my teeth, but I hope he cannot tell. All will never again be well, and somewhere, I think he knows that already. Frodo nods wordlessly and heads for the door.  
  
With a heart broken sigh, I rush to the den to retrieve Sam from the clutches of TV. To my absolute horror, but I must admit, not to my surprise, he is watching FotR. Fortunately, he is only at the council of Elrond, and I quickly flip it off. "Time to go." I say, and Sam gets up with a sigh. "Do you know where Legolas is?" I ask Sam.  
  
Sam thinks a moment and I think is about to say no when I hear Pippin's voice from the doorway. "He went to see the horses." He says, and when I turn to see Pippin, I can tell he has been stuffing himself by the crumbs in the corners of his mouth and on his jacket.   
  
I shake my head at him with a grin. "Lets go get him." I say and usher the hobbits to the door.  
  
*****  
  
I find Legolas sitting quietly with Annie's three horses. Mystic is lying down and Legolas is resting his head and shoulders against her chest. Missy is standing over him, and for a moment I am terrified he will be trampled by her, should she become spooked, so I turn off the car. As I get out of the car, however, I meet another surprise. Layla is lying quietly next to Legolas letting him pet her! That brat has never even stood still once for me, and Legolas is with her for one day! "Elves." I mutter underneath my breath, walking over.   
  
As I get closer, I can hear Legolas speaking quietly, soothingly in elvish to the horses. For a moment I really wish I spoke elvish so I could understand what he is saying. I can make out a few words I know, but not many. "What do you think you're doing laying down in a horse pasture, do you want to be killed?!!" I demand, opening the gate.  
  
Legolas looks at me calmly. "Manaseth, Bramblerose, and Luminal would never hurt me, I am in no danger." He shakes his head. "Humans. No matter how much you are with horses you still tend to maintain the belief that they are stupid." His voice is derogatory, and I glare at him irritably.  
  
"I was referring to the smell, you pointy-eared, stuck-up…elf!" I retaliate, not really angry, but used to calling anyone and everyone I am even mildly annoyed at names. "Get up. You're lucky this place has been freshly cleaned and that she let you lay against her, because if you are even slightly dirty you can sleep with them tonight." Since Legolas was in the pasture instead of the pen, he seems to have lucked out. "It's time to go." I tell him, going to leave.  
  
I can hear Legolas saying goodbye to the horses, again calling them elvish names, and I sigh and turn around. "The dark one is Mystic. The light one is Missy. The one-year-old is Layla." I inform him.  
  
Legolas nods slowly. "I did not know their names, so I gave them elvish ones." He lays a hand on Mystic's nose. "I named her Manaseth, after Elrohir's horse. Elrohir gave her to me as a gift during a particularly trying time in my life. She was one of the greatest friends I had." Legolas has a small smile on his face. His description and the name suddenly shock me as I remember something I once wrote.  
  
Legolas seems not to notice, moving on to Missy and putting his hand on her neck. "This one I named Bramblerose, after a hobbit I once met when I was younger. She cared for me, at risk to herself." Legolas pets her for a moment and moves to the last one.  
  
"The small one I named Luminal, because she reminded me of my little sister. She was sweet but very pushy and wanted a lot of attention at times, but we all loved her so." Legolas' voice is very quiet now, but I barely notice.  
  
Legolas doesn't have to say she died, because I know now that he is referring to events from my stories, and I grimace at the look of pain on his face as I look up. "We have to go." I say hoarsely, leaving as quickly as I can.  
  
*****  
  
Well? What think ye? 


	4. What now?

I awoke to hands shaking me gently by the shoulders. "What?" I asked irritably, eyes only half-open. No immediate answer came, so I rolled over, back into the comfort of my pillow. Almost immediately, the shaking resumed, and I grumbled as I turned to look into the distressed blue eyes of Legolas.

"Wake up." Legolas said quietly, but the strain is evident in his voice. He looked over his shoulder, and I glanced in the same direction to see four hobbits staring at me in an aggravated manner. Their stomachs growled ominously at me, and I groaned as I stumbled out of bed.

"You guys are gonna eat me out of house and home." I complained irritably as I made my way to the door. All five of my guests went to follow me, but I held up a hand to stop them. "My parents are probably up. Stay here and be quiet!" I ordered sternly, and the hobbits look slightly cowed, but Legolas just looked impatient. I knew he wanted explanations, and is eager to figure out how to return home. He asked many questions last night after I picked them up, but I had been too tired to answer, and had promised to talk to him when I woke up. By the look he was giving me, he wasn't going to wait much longer.

I wandered out into my living room, glancing around with a yawn. It didn't look like anyone was up yet. The kitchen was dark, so I flipped on a light and threw open my refrigerator. My prospects were pretty dim, and I cursed my mother for postponing her shopping. I raided our fruit bowl and pulled out two boxes of cereal and some milk. I was about to leave when I noticed the oatmeal no one ate, and I heated some of that up quickly.

Upon returning to my room, I found my five guests still waiting, if not very patiently. I set the food on the floor, and the four hobbits quickly leapt for it as I handed out bowls. "I'm sorry, it's all I have right now. I was going to make toast, but we're out of bread, and we don't have any pancake batter, and…well, this is it." The hobbits barely noticed me through the stuffing of their faces, so I gave up on them and turned to the Mirkwood elf that was glaring at me. "Aren't you hungry?" I asked innocently, but he just raised one eyebrow at me, an act which caused me no small amount of amusement, I must say, coming from him.

"You know what I want, so I hardly see any point in this." He said, referring to my faked innocence to his mood. Intense blue eyes stared unflinchingly into mine until I could barely stand it.

"I know, I know." I replied. "I promised last night to explain the conditions here, what the 'cold beasts' were, and how I thought we should go about getting you home." I gave a heavy sigh and helped myself to cereal. "First of all, I'm going to answer the easiest question. The 'cold beasts' are called automobiles, though everyone refers to them as cars. That was what you were riding in. They're made of metal, and they move through...Oh, Legolas, I would have to talk hours to explain that to you. Suffice it to say, we use those instead of horses, and they can move about 4 times faster than a horse at full run. Sometimes faster than that." Legolas stares at me, his gaze disbelieving, but I ignored his look and swallowed some of my breakfast. "Today there are no elves, no hobbits, no dwarves, no wizards, no orcs, no goblins...just about everything you are familiar with no longer exists." Legolas shook his head at this and paced slowly, fingering the end of his bow in restrained agitation.

Merry looked up to me in disbelief. "No hobbits?!!" He asked, his eyes wide and slightly nervous. Not that I could blame him. I would be terrified if I woke up in there world.

"No, Merry, no hobbits. No Shire either." I replied sadly. There was a long silence, as no one knew quite what to say. Finally, I looked back to Legolas. "I do not know how I will get you home, but I will do my best. For now, however, I think we should make you appear more normal. You hardly will escape notice as you are now." All five looked to me expectantly, and I smiled mischievously.

"I think I had better call Kurie." I said slyly, referring to my friend and fellow LotR lover. I eyed each guest slowly, imagining how I would make them fit in. "We're going to the mall."


	5. Keeping track of hobbits is hard!

Sorry I haven't updated and sorry it's so short. It'll eb awhile before I get to this again, my Will story is next on my list, but I'll do my best.

It took me a full 30 minutes to get Kurie to stop making mad grabs for Legolas and giggling like a maniac. Legolas did something I never expected him to do; he hid behind me! I have to admit, seeing him do that made me laugh quite a bit.

When I finally got Kurie calmed down, I explained the situation to her. I told her that for the meantime, I had to lay low with my guests, and that they needed to be a LOT less suspicious. She offered to keep Legolas for a while, of course, but I turned her down flat. No way was I going to be left alone with all these hobbits.

We took Kurie's car as well, since there was no way we were all going to fit in my little two-door. It was a tight squeeze already! Kurie wanted to take Legolas, but I made her take Frodo and Sam. I wanted to make her take one of the twins of chaos, but Sam and Frodo cannot be separated without a rather large axe and a hammer.

Getting them into the mall was another trial, what with all the large-eyed innocence or blatant distrust. Once inside, it became even harder. I began to wonder what I had been thinking, taking them to the mall! How was I ever going to keep track of them all?

Kurie laid a hand on my shoulder when she noticed me getting a little nervous, braking to the hobbits to stay with me, as if they were children, and making inarticulate growls at Legolas every time he made a disparaging comment. "It'll be all right." Kurie smile, and gestured to the hair salon just across from us. "Let's start there."

"Aren't clothes more important?" I asked, eyeing our motley crew. There was no way we were not going to be noticed. "Pippin!" I cried out as I saw the hobbit wandering off towards the food court.

"We might as well start from here and work our way back." Kurie pointed out, and I nodded.

Kurie and I dropped off our charges with instructions to cut their hair in whatever style seemed best for them and least noticeable and went off in search of a shop that carried hobbit size clothing. This was no easy task, as they were most of them to thick for children's, not being built quite the same, and far too short for anything else! 45 minutes later, we wandered back to the hair salon. Most of the hobbits had ended up with short hair, too like their alter-egos for my liking, except for Sam, who mostly looked like he had gotten a trim. My eyes wandered the room and found Legolas being fawned over by the haircutters, all putting finishing touches on his now curly and DARK hair. We quickly hustled him out, extremely annoyed, as I did not want him to look MORE like Orlando, but things did not get much better.

I was beginning to consider skipping everything and going straight to buying a gun, when I noticed the gathering group of girls recognizing our tallest. Kurie rapidly moved to try to deflect some of the girls. I turned quickly to Legolas. "Many girls are going to approach you thinking you are Orlando Bloom. Do not, under any circumstances, say you are. Tell them people tell you that a lot and politely excuse yourself."

When I turned back, two of our hobbits were gone. "Kurie!" I called desperately. She turned back to look at me, and the girls descended like a swarm on poor Legolas, but I was too nervous to help him. "Where are Merry and Pippin!"


	6. Mall adventures

1Wide-eyed, I looked around desperately for any sign of Pippin and Merry, but there was no sign of them. Behind me, I could hear Kurie trying to convince the fan girls that the man before them wasn't really Orlando Bloom, but they were having none of it. I looked back once to see how she was doing. The girls were just becoming more insistent, pushing past her and trying to get Legolas to give them his autograph. A couple were pulling at him in a worrisome way, but as I heard angry shouts from above, I decided that Legolas was a warrior and could handle himself.

Realizing the shouts above were coming from the food court, I quickly turned to Frodo and Sam, instructing them to stay put as I went sprinting towards the escalator. The shouts were even more angry now, and I could make out a crowd forming near one of the food stands, and I was under no illusions as to just who was in the center of that crowd. Pushing my way through was very hard, but eventually I reached the center where I could make out Pippin standing behind Merry, looking nervous and chagrined. Merry was defending his cousin against the manager of the Blimpies.

I ran over to the hobbits, facing the manager. "What is the problem?" I demanded, slowly placing myself in front of the two.

"The younger one ordered a meal and then tried to leave without paying." The manager said, rather calmly I thought for how angry his expression was. I realized the angry shouts were coming from the people who had been in line and were being held up, and refrained from rolling my eyes in frustration.

"Look, I'm sorry, let me pay. They're my cousins, and this is their first trip to the mall." The manager seemed appeased as I yanked my keys out of my pocket and dug out my debit card. While I did this, I turned meaningfully to the wayward middle-earthlings. "You see what happens when you guys don't stay with me? Maybe you could just say you were hungry next time, huh?" I asked.

Pippin's gaze stayed wide and innocent, which he seemed to be very good at, but Merry glared at me, as if to say, 'We're always hungry, what's that supposed to mean?' I ignored him, but went back to paying the manager for what turned out to be a rather large bill, glaring back at Pippin, who hid further behind his cousin, clutching his tray laden with food.

The manager gave a grunt of pacification after my card was approved, and the crowd began to dissipate back into a line. Annoyed, I shoved my cared back into it's slot in my college ID holder, then whirled on the hobbits, glaring. "Get back down to the others." I said, yanking the tray from a very disappointed Pippin, leaving the tray, but taking the food, knowing I would never hear the end of it otherwise, and would only have to pay to feed them later anyway.

As we walked towards the escalator, I could see a couple mall security guys running down the walkway. I followed them with my eyes nervously, and could see a group of girls beating against a door, which kept moving in an inch or so, then shutting again forcefully. I could see Kurie talking to one of the officers, and I sighed as I climbed off the escalator and began to jog that direction, pushing the twins of chaos in front of me.

"What's going on?" Pippin asked, and looked up to me as we made our way through this crowd. Merry looked as if he might hush his cousin, but I answered before he could.

"Legolas is getting a taste of earth fan girls...too much, by the looks of it." I made my way to Kurie. "What's going on?" I demanded. The mall security guy was running off to help the others dispel the crowd of feminine hormones.

"Oh, the girls didn't believe me. One of them ripped Legolas' shirt, and it all went downhill from there. Legolas ended up blockading himself in the men's room. Maybe we should have let him bring his weapons." Kurie joked, but I just glared at her.

"It's not funny, Kurie, we gotta get him out of here fast!" Kurie just nodded seriously. Suddenly, I felt a tug on my sleeve and looked down to see Frodo, who just pointed wordlessly down the walkway, where Legolas was poking his head nervously out of a door. I nodded my head in his direction for Kurie, then whispered, "I'm going to get him a hat and a change of clothing, maybe that will help." She nodded, and I turned to Frodo. "Tell Legolas to stay put, but do it discreetly. The girls don't need to know there's another entrance to the bathroom." Frodo immediately began walking in Legolas' direction, trying not to be obvious, and I shook my head as I went to get Legolas some clothes.

20 minutes later, we were walking through the JC Penneys, unmolested once again, though I was seriously considering buying leashes for the hobbits. Frodo and Sam weren't as bad, of course, but they still retained the curiosity of their kind, and so Frodo could be distracted into wandering off, with Sam inevitably following. Legolas was at my side, looking vaguely out of place in the clothes I had quickly chosen that didn't fit perfectly, but in my defense, I had no reason to know men's clothing sizes. Legolas had not gone far since we had escaped the fans, as if afraid that if he strayed too far from Kurie and I he'd be recognized and attacked again.

"Tell me again what those creatures were?" He asked, and I gave an annoyed grunt. Kurie just grinned as she sent Pippin into the child's dressing room with another pair of pants, trying to discover the hobbit's sizes.

"They're not creatures, Las, they're just human girls, like Kurie and myself. They just happened to be a variation called a 'fan girl.'" I pulled out another pair of pants and showed them to Kurie. I had started calling the middle-earthlings by my nicknames to lower suspicion, and while Legolas didn't like his new name, he didn't complain. Kurie nodded in response to the jeans I was holding and handed them to Frodo, holding Sam back when he tried to follow. The gardener glared at her, but she ignored him as she continued to look for something that would fit him.

"A fan girl?" Legolas made a face. "What is wrong with them?" He asked, browsing with one finger through a rack of shirts, obviously not impressed with the fabric or design. He said nothing about our clothing, though, for which I was grateful.

"There's nothing wrong with them, they just get excited to see someone they've always wanted to meet." Legolas still looked confused, and I sighed. "Look, lemme put it this way. Orlando Bloom became famous playing you in the film version of the books I was talking about." Legolas just looked more confused, and I ran a hand through my hair. "I can't explain film without showing you. I'll show you a LITTLE bit of the movie and your part in it when we get home. For, now, just try to understand that Orlando is someone they've heard a lot about and meeting 'him', or you as it may be, was too much excitement for them. They're not like that normally." I said, then just shook my head as he looked like he was going to ask more questions. "Las, I don't know what else to say, and I'm really tired. Let's just drop it for now and finish shopping. The sooner we get out of here, the better." Legolas didn't like being put off again, but he agreed with my last statement and said nothing, instead holding out a pair of pants that looked like they would fit Sam, expressionless. I smiled and took them. "Thanks!" Legolas nodded, and I noticed that for the first time since he had arrived, the elf was no longer glaring at me.


End file.
